I thought that he was pure when I first saw him smiling and then laughing in front of the school service which was going to take us to Uludağ.
He seemed so white that I thought he was the most cheerful person in the world.
He was wearing a red shirt and jeans, he had his sun glasses with him.I think he was still wearing his rings.
I said to myself "Waow, someone who is happy, this is the guy that you have to be with. Finally, someone who isn't stuck with the feeling pain."
Then I found out that I was actually looking at him on the compus earlier than the time when I thought it was the first time I saw him.
He was wearing a motorcyle club jacket on the campus when I saw him earlier, that was why he got my attention. Before the elections, I saw him and his friend at the "Red" canteen and made my friend sit next to their table.
After the snowboard team elections, when we got back home, I realised that it was him. He was the one who was wearing that jacket.

He was a snowboarder, he listened to metal music, he was apparently a Karate practicer and also was a member of a motorcycle club. And, most importantly, he seemed happy and satisfied with his life. He was like my dream man.

Okay why did I start to tell this?
I am not going to continue because I do not know what to say next.
Briefly, he actually was playing his role during life.
He is a person who is not happy in general, he only tastes the temporary feelings.
He talks about his "pains" but it is not that because you are a special person to share those deep feelings, it is because he loves to utter his pains.
He does not have the capasity to love a person because he is a selfish person.
He cannot show me the limits of my heart because he does not even know if people have hearts and they can feel.
He does not give a shit about you but only himself.

I was going to love him.
He was going to love me.
We were going to be very happy together when we shared our energies. Our pure energies.
Oh boy, I fell in love with somebody else that I do not know but just created in my mind.

I first thought he was everything that I've always wanted.
I first thought he was pure.
I first thought he had everything.
I first thought he knew how to love a woman.
I first thought that I finally found someone to go crazy on.
I first thought there wasn't anything that he couldn't do.
I first thought that he was the coolest guy in the world.
I first thought that we had a magnificent future together.
I first thought that he was going to be my first man.
Oh baby, how innocent I was...