If you were a river

There are clouds in your hair

They sometimes shone as if in a bright sky and sometimes looked so grey as if they were about to rain 

You shone back then, 

and you knew it, 

then, 

you couldn't even rain

If you were a river, I would think that you stopped flowing a long time ago, maybe even 30 years back 

And you were getting drier and drier every day, reluctantly 

Only some birds checked on you, but that also wasn't something you bothered

What did you really want? 

You just watched, not knowing what to do about all of these

If you could only wake up from your haze for a tiny bit, you would realize it was your own mud blocking the water from flooding

I, from time to time, visit where that dry river once was and fill the emptiness with some tears

I am not angry at you. But I am angry at the water that could have made it all colorful for you. 

Like if these make sense at all.