I know universe I know. I am not going to thank you now, I need more time to see.

Damarlarımda bir zehirle yaşıyorum

I had fantasies with you and now we are in the same room, just the two of us, separate beds, sleeping.
What the hell child?
Come over here and make me warm and nana.

I met the kindest man of my life in Bansko on 31th of January.
He is a British gentleman and we are still in touch.
He is a true gentleman.

-Why are you so good, be a little bad!
+Hah do you want me to be bad!?
-No no no okay be good.

I wish he lived here or I lived there so that we could have a future together.
I really want him to come over here, I want to show him the place where I was born and raised, where I hang with my friends, I want him to get to know our culture and our language.
I want to go to London and see where he was born and raised, where he usually hangs with his friends, I want to know what he usually does in his daily life and get to know their culture more.
I want to touch him, kiss him and hug him again. I want to trust him once more and see he deserves to be trusted.
My paranoid brain was defeated by his sweetness and I loved it.
I still cannot believe how he was that nice and he still is being nice.
I hope that he thinks the way I think.
I need to be defeated again by him.

Oh baby I missed you.It's been weeks that I havent texted you. So many things has changed and I will tell you the story later. Xxx

Dear J

I know this will sound silly but I am missing you like hell even though I do not really know you yet and I kinda am afraid to lose you even though I do not fully have you.
Okay maybe really I sound stupid but this is the way I feel and I wanted you to know it.
I hope you really like me now or love me in the future.
XXXX

Why?