Today's Discovery / 23-year-old mystery resolved

Çok seveceğimi bildigim bir şeyi/bir kişiyi sonunda kaybetmekten korktuğum için ona başlamıyorum.

My all time obsession is back.
Congrats to humanity.
Now we are at the same era again

Kediler

Istanbul'un kargaşasından bu kadar korkup hem de asfalta nasil bu kadar rahat yayılabiliyorlar?
Adalar iskelesindeki kedi, benden bu kadar korkup 20 metre ötemde keyif yapiyorsun.

I found out there were things (holes) even music couldn't cure (fill)
I feel alone to my roots
I felt home when I was with him.
I was pure myself. Sometimes I was too myself that I hurt things, I know.
There is no fault.
No hard-feelings. So to say.
Was it a wise decision?
I miss more than ever.

Everything flashbacks and I don't want it.
The diamond-shaped city, I miss every feeling I felt when I was in you.
The diamond-shaped city... It gave me so much, thought me so much.
I miss the days. I always will.

I didn't know I was gonna cry this much.

I just don't want ends.

End of a life. End of a relationship. End of dreams. End of plans.

I didn't know it was going to be this hard to accept.

Weird and empty.
Didn't see this much was coming.

Midemi bulandırıyorsun.
Heyecandan.

Maybe being exactly the same is boring.

Seni bana yar etmeseler de edecekler.
Bu bir zorunluluk.
Her şey çok karışık evet.
Yine çok uzak evet.
Ama adım adım.
Adım adım.
Umut falan yok, okyanuslar da yok artık.
Senin için yıllardır umut ettim evet, artık umut falan yok.
Korkaklık da yok. Çünkü çok sıkıldım her şeyden.

Sadece var olanlar var, olmayanlar olacaklar.

Bu da böyle biline.

Old habbits die hard

I am 23.
Still trying to find the purpuse of my life.
It is normal now but I am worried about ending up with nothing when i am 35 or something.
Just a note.